Feelin' a little sorry.....

I am not one to sit and feel sorry for myself....nor do I want anyone else to feel sorry for me. I am one to always listen and help others out. Not very often will you hear a complaint from me. I have had a weekend from hell. It has really got me thinking. You know sometimes one thing really sucky happens to you and it goes downhill from there. I am not going to bore all of you will my woes. But there are some things that I think if I just get them out, I might be able to sleep at night. For the last couple months (towards the end of Wilsons) I have been seriously thinking about going back to work. I love my children very much and I would never take back the time I have spent with them at home. However, I;m starting to feel a little like the maid and not the mom or wife. I have very mixed emotions about this decision. I have applied several places but you know you hear the same thing over, " We really need you to work EVERY weekend", "You are just not qualified" OR you just don't like the people working there already...so forget it. I have an interview tomorrow morning with a place here in town that seems pretty promising......not going to jinx that one. Later on that.

I have really been rethinking this whole photography thing.......I think I am going to finish out the year and maybe take a few next year but really lay low on it for now. There are some things I need to get worked out before I can continue on with my dream. I have a passion for this job.... but lately it is not in me.

Today's message at church was about giving to God. I know that the message was more about giving money but for me it went a little deeper. I am not giving my ALL to him. I am not where I should be spiritually. I don't feel "connected" to him and it hurts.......